"You smoke?" El asks behind a shy smile. "I brought a jay."
Me'Shell plays in the background...
"What's a jay?" I respond, not knowing for sure but wondering if maybe he means...
"A joint. Marijuana. You smoke?"
"Oh. No. No, I don't. But I have an ashtray if you need one." I figure I'll let him turn into whoever it is he turns into in situations like these. Maybe he's nervous and needs the high to calm him down. Maybe he can only make love behind thick clouds, blinding him from the body in front of him. Maybe I could get a subtle high from the fumes, too. Something to help me get through this thing I deep down don't really want to do but have to do because lately sex is the only thing that helps me feel anything anymore.
He pulls the jay out of his pocket and starts to blow on it. I guess to clean out the jeans-debris? I make my way to the living room to get the ashtray.
Me'Shell still plays...
He takes his shirt off as I walk towards him with the ashtray. I notice a single tattoo on his dark shoulder. His skin's like soft silk and his tattoo is kind of like a flaw you spot on wooden furniture. You know the kind: it's there and sometimes ugly but there's a beauty to it just the same so you buy the table anyway.
"Ha. Even your ashtray is classy," he says after I hand it to him. It's crystal, glass. I keep it spotless, though it's been used from time to time whenever relatives visit me. There's a drawn
coqui on it.
"I got it in Puerto Rico." I tell him, smiling as I hang on to his thinking I'm classy. He lights his jay and I sit beside him. I stare at his tattoo. I try to make it out in the darkness of my bedroom. A candle flickers near us. The flame is just enough to help me make out a horse one minute and then a spear. A lemon lavender cloud of smoke billows its way around the room as I move my fingers towards the mark on his body. I trace it, spellbound by his beauty and this art.
"Unicorn." he whispers after a pull.
Me'Shell continues...
"What?" I come to. I sit up straight, half dizzy from the fumes. Am I high? Or does my mind just think it's loopy because I'm sitting next to someone doing drugs?
"It's a unicorn. My tattoo," he says laughing, showcasing his pearly whites. Straight like he obviously has had braces half his life. Maybe he's got them now. The invisible kind.
"Did it hurt?" I ask.
"I was so high when I got it I can't remember," he muses. "It's the gayest kind of tattoo to get but I love it. Unicorns are pretty but they'll poke the shit out of anyone who comes close."
I lie down and study this idea.
Me'Shell finishes and before Prince begins to play, El sets what's left of his jay in the ashtray.
"I hate Prince but The Breakdown gets me somehow." I say to him but more to myself, almost as an apology. The music seems a bit cliche.
"I dig it," he assures me. His pants come off. I stare at the perfection before me. It's like some kind of african god is about to make love to me. Is this what high is? I feel prettier than I am and the man before me looks like something you jerk off to late at night before bed.
"Turn around," he demands. I do as told, he pulls my shorts off. "Damn," he whispers.
"What?" I ask. I want to hear all the words he thinks about me. And he begins to tell me everything as he gently moves his face towards my ass, then spreads. He speaks after each lick, each kiss, each soft bite.
"This...is...good. You're...fucking...amazing. So clean. Smooth. Soft. My...god..."
For a while I comfortably settle myself on top of soft blankets and let him eat me.
Prince plays and plays again and again and I imagine maybe my computer's high too. Why's it playing the same song? I wonder, forgetting I added the song to my playlist a dozen times.
Suddenly, I swear I hear light sabers. He's so good I feel like I'm lost in some Star Wars galaxy.
"Keep eating," I tell him, faintly and intoxicatingly.
The light sabers continue. It's like there's a battle behind us going on. He's moaning along.
"Damn...I...can't...stop...eating...this."
I laugh and then remember the light sabers are from Prince's song.
