Killing Me

Dear Grams:

I remember thinking everything would be all right
as soon as I saw your lifeless body on the hospital bed
I thought:
don't worry, you'll be taken care of
you won't want for anything
because you did your part
you watched over her all those years no one else did
and you will be rewarded for that

but every day seems to feel like a punishment
you're gone
everyone else seems to have followed suit
your soul is dancing in the heavens like it ought to be
you're safe and sound
happy and free
and I'm all alone here

I think I'll be gone soon, too
I fight these thoughts but I can't tell you how easy it seems it'll all be
if I could just grab a knife and slit my wrist to join you

That sounds morbid, I know
but I don't know any other way
and I don't think I can stand another day here
these days here are killing me