26 Candles

I can’t believe I’m 26.

I feel like I'm trapped in some warped land. Time is flying like mad and I can't stop the white hairs from blossoming. My goodness! Why won't time go backwards?

I had so much planned for my life at 26 but have gotten little done. It’s so weird how life passes by. The years move and before you know it, you’re fighting hard to regain those childhood memories you’d never imagine you’d miss. Boy, do I wish I was six again.

I remember birthdays being so much more of a bigger deal when I was younger. I’d spend the day standing on a pedestal, the absolute center of attention - receiving presents, constant praise, oh and delicious birthday cake to boot. There was a sense of worth and importance behind presents, cake, a song, and burning candles to wish upon. How things have changed.

Today, I actually had to play a game... a game of who'd call and who was most likely to forget. Not everyone remembers anymore. Not everyone bothers to keep on track and make you feel good. No more birthday cake. No more “surprise!” No more sappy song and bright candles.

On a day like this, coming home to an empty place makes it feel like the worst day on earth. What is it about birthdays that makes wanting family and friends by your side so much more necessary than usual. Why this day?

If I’m 26 and I feel like this, imagine when I’m 36 or 46. Will I not care for familial support or will I just feel worse and worse as less and less people call each year? Also, should I judge a friend harshly because they forgot to call on my one special day? Or, is this a "forgive and forget" lesson of the highest kind?

Perhaps I should not be so brash, but I can't help but wonder, if I provide so much love and support to family and friends, why can't I get my fair share of it too?