Possession

it is true you rocked my life
and that i can't stop thinking about you no matter how hard i try
even now, many years later, I still remember every inch of your face
every curve and bump and bone
that brown flesh --
i remember it precisely and that burns me
it isn't fun having you haunt me everyday
i still dream about you
and to me that’s so sick
i still sit and wonder what it is you're doing and who you're doing it with
still wonder if i am ever thought of
or missed or desired
still wonder if someone else gets to hold your hand at the theater or kiss your back as you lie asleep
my spot was taken you see
and i am still not over that

i once learned if you divide the time you were coupled with someone by two,
you’ll come up with the amount of time it’ll take to get over that person
that’s a total lie though
because it seems the amount of time we spent together has been multiplied by a hundred
you’re still here
in this head
many years later

i can go out
have a drink or six
meet new people
have nights of meaningless passion
be worshiped
get high
write write write
try every which way i can to delete your name from my back
but it won’t go away
no amount of scrubbing
or pulling
or peeling can get you away from my life

and i’m not sure what to do now

it is already passed the time for me to move on
but what you’ve done to me
my dear friend and ex lover
won’t let me be