Traveling Through?

I may never be able to travel the world. I may never be allowed outside the United States. Isn't that the saddest thing you have ever heard? It is to me.

Two weeks ago, I applied for a passport. I showed up at the post office with so much excitement. Finally, my very own key to waters beyond this place here! I felt too happy and was very much prepared to shell out a hundred dollars for a small book that I anticipated using a lot of. Oh, but how my high spirits were put to rest...

Let me tell you what happened...

I'm next on line and I double check to make sure I have all necessary documents. I'm good to go. The agent calls next...
I tell her what I'm there for...
She takes my application...
Asks for ID...
I give her my learner's permit...
and POOF...
my bubble is burst.

"This isn't valid," she says.

"Excuse me?" I ask. "That's a learner's permit. It's my ID. How isn't that valid?"

"We only accept State IDs or a driver's License. Permit's are not acceptable."

"Huh!?"

"Sorry. You have to come back with someone who has a valid ID or driver's license so that they can sign an affidavit stating they have known you for more than five years and that who you say you are is true. Come back with your permit and someone who can vouch for your identity."

...

At this point, I'm confused and uninspired. I want to go home and just forget about this headache. But then I think, "no, wait! I want to travel, damn it!"

My uncle comes to the rescue. His license in tow, we go back to the post office. The clerk is polite...helpful. And...

Voilà! Application c o m p l e t e!

"You'll get your passport in four weeks. Have a nice day."

I think: so worth the time and effort just to hear those words. Immediately, I fantasize about Italy and London, Spain and Brazil. Oh, the lands I get to travel! Thank you God.

But then...

Uh oh indeed.

I get a letter in the mail two weeks later...

"Unfortunately, the identification you provided is not sufficient for passport purposes. Please complete, sign, and date the enclosed supplemental sheet (which is 5 pages long!) and submit it together with photocopies of at least five personal documents to confirm your identity."

Sh*t! F#ck!

Instantly, I think: duh! You knew something would come up, Edwin. Since when has anything ever gone your way? The more you want something, the more you end up having to struggle for it. Remember.

Pissed off and deflated, I call the 800 number provided in the letter to see what went wrong. At the post office, I was told everything was set and approved. My uncle had to rush back to work for taking the time out to help me. I spent my whole morning trying to get this stuff done. I was angry and needed answers.

"I'm sorry. I don't know what they told you at the post office but your learner's permit was not sufficient. You will need five more pieces of identification to complete your application." the operator says, reciting each sentence as if I'd been the fifteenth caller with the same situation that day.

"But my uncle vouched for my identity. I was told with the permit and a signed affidavit I'd be fine." I answer.

"Nope. Sorry. Not enough."

So, here I am today—
gathering all types of nonsense to send out to these passport officials
If this has never happened to you, you'll be flabbergasted to see the list of approved pieces of identity.
Unreal.
I'm sending a copy of my social security card, insurance card, a pay stub, voter's ID from Puerto Rico, HS and college diploma, transcripts, oh and a copy of my medical records if you can believe that.

A messy ordeal this has been. I'll keep you posted if I finally get the damn thing.

Pray for me.