It could be worse

"It could be worse."

I’ve heard that a million times. People tell me. I tell myself. They say it; I say it. It’s everywhere. You have an issue, you tell yourself:

"It could be worse."

It almost alleviates the problem. There’s a temporary sigh of relief immediately following. But truth be told, I hate this saying.

It stinks. Plain and simple. It diminishes what I feel, what you feel, what we all feel.

"It could be worse."

It takes away the power of your pain. It unfairly leads you to believe that what you’re going through is of little importance, or not important at all.

You lost your mother, but it could be worse.

You lost your home, but it could be worse.

You can barely afford to eat a warm meal, but it could be worse.

No!

Fuck that. Things are worse, as worse as it can get for you at that point. Period. I have to stop letting people try to make me feel selfish or dramatic for the pain inside me. I've got to let it be because that's how you begin the healing.

It's your worse. It’s your pain. It’s your obstacle. It’s valid. It’s important. It is yours and it is your own version of worse. Not many people will understand that.

People say such things to bring about a sense of peace. It’s like when we say “things happen for a reason,” or “when God closes a door, he opens another.” But no more. We should stop. I'm going to stop. I know how good it makes us feel to say these things but truthfully, it doesn't help one bit.

"It could be worse."

That does nothing but push the pain away for later.

How is that supposed to help?