Being single is a choice for some. I never understood that before but it’s quite clear to me now. I’m single and it’s totally because I want to be. To be honest, it’s probably more because I need to be too.
I can’t lie though – I do crave those moments that occur while in a relationship. Random hugs, his hands around my hips, gentle kisses on the neck. “I love you so much, Pa.” Those things. But, I don’t miss it enough to want it right now. I’m sure that’ll change someday. There’s no rush though, right? I’m fine without it.
The other day I got a text from a friend I hadn’t heard from in a while.
“How’s your love life!?” she asked.
“Null. For now.” I responded.
“Oh, I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be! It’s OK. I’m fine. It’s totally by choice.”
“Well, don’t wait until you’re 40 to find someone!”
I’m not even 30 yet. I’m not sure why finding a partner is so important for some. I mean, it’s a beautiful thing but it shouldn’t be a priority, right? I know a lot of people in relationships who are totally unhappy. I know a lot more people who are single and very, very happy. So, I’m not scared when I tell people that yes, I am very much unattached.
“Why are you single!?” People always ask with that tone that’s almost sympathetic or pitiful. I hate that question so much! Finding love is a goal I’ll concentrate on in the future, but for right now, there’s so much work that needs to be done on myself. Does this make sense? All you single people must know what I mean.
Maybe it’s complete fear. Perhaps deep down inside, I don’t have the faith or the bravado. After the experiences I've had with the men I've dated in the past, who can blame me? Maybe I’m just way too insecure. I don’t even love myself enough. How on earth can I love someone else? Or maybe, just maybe, I haven’t met the one – that magic man who’ll sweep me off my feet and make me stutter-er-er. They say once I meet him, he’ll help erase all my fears, all my insecurities, and all the pain that I’ve dealt with in the past. That seems a bit profound and I’ll tell you, the man I love is going to have to have one hell of a wand to erase all my mental shit. But hey, let’s see what happens. Who knows what'll transpire as I get older. In fact, who know's what's to come tomorrow? Maybe then, I'll feel ready. Who knows, really? That's the thing about love. You can't really plan it. It's going to happen when it's supposed to. So, if I say I'm single, don't ask me why and please don't feel sorry for me. I'm OK.
I’m young and being single is a fabulous thing! As long as my dick can still get hard and as long as I’m not totally unattractive, I’ve got time. One day my prince will come and I will be ready. Until then, I thank the heavens for pornography.
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4 comments:
KUDOS!! You're single and you're happy with your choice!
I totally relate to this posting. I'm single and I'm enjoying it. Yes there are the times when having that warm familiar body next to you would be grand, but its ok to snuggle with a pillow. I'm glad you recognize that you have work to do on yourself before committing to another. A lot of people go into a relationship with so much baggage, hoping the other will solve their problems. That's not how it works. Learn to love who you are when you're single and love will have an easier time finding it's way to you.
Again, KUDOS!
I LOVED this! Good for you! I can relate to so much that you said. I've been single for a very long time. After awhile, you do get tired of hearing the same ole questions from family and friends. "Why are you single?" "Its okay. You'll find him". I know its ok!
Personally, and not to sound cliche, it all starts with you first and whats deep within you emotionally. The rest will take care of itself. You write really well. Please continue to share your thoughts. I find them inspiring!
Nena! I am with you 100%!! We are young, hung and full of come! Live it up! And yes, pornography is a godsend! Xoxo
Interesting reading, well written and easy to relate to for many people. I've been on both ends of this spectrum. From being in committed long term relationships to now being single. I'm in my 30s now and can say with certainty you have to feel comfortable in your own skin and be who you are to have a successful relationship. Anything less will be unproductive for both people involved. Being single and enjoying it is really an evolution for myself and learning that I'll be ok in spite of everything gives me a sense of self and independence. Love is great when you know who you are and the person that loves you accepts you for being that person. So you can tell those that feel sorry or sympathetic to you current status that you are still discovering who you are and that you are happy with your present state. It's good to know that you recognize and understand what it will take for you to fall in love because so many don't and never even attempt to learn who they are as individuals.
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