Christmas in New York (I miss you, Puerto Rico)

So, I'm in New York for the holidays. I'm not too happy about that. There isn't anything like spending the holidays in my beautiful island country Puerto Rico. But, I'll make the best of the time I have here in New York. I'm happy and it's a beautiful day. I'll be in Puerto Rico soon enough anyway, so for now, listen to this with me - "Lamento del Campesino" by Puerto Rican superstar Ednita Nazario. Let's blow a big kiss to the glorious island of Puerto Rico this holiday season.

"Ella es mi vida, por ella vivo y muero por ella..."

My Radio: What I'm Listening To

"Let the notes take you away."

Run - Leona Lewis
Dreamer - Elizaveta
Drunk On Love - Rihanna
She Doesn't Mind - Sean Paul
It Will Rain - Bruno Mars
Take Care - Drake (w/ Rihanna)
Shake It Out - Florence + The Machine
If I Could Fly - Charity Chapman

To Those I Leave Behind

As human beings, I think that the one thing we all want is to know that we matter
We all want to know we’re being heard,
that someone out there is paying attention to us.
A simple feeling of acknowledgement,
we crave it
basically.

Today, I want to let you know that you matter to me
I learned a lot from you
You taught me a lot about myself
Namely, to never judge without truly and really knowing a person
You were tough to handle
I was too sensitive to even try
But in the end, I noticed you
The real you
and it really makes me smile because
you’re really a decent person

I realize that this probably sounds like a love song
And, let’s be frank: if I were able to, I’d woo you in a heartbeat
‘cause opposites attract, right?
But don’t worry
I’m no weirdo
and this is no love song
Although, I write this with all my heart and all my love

I wish you the best
and may God watch over you in life forever

Remember me
I’ll definitely always remember you.

Conflicts III

Sometimes, we're told to trust our instincts. Other times, we're told to never judge a person if we don't know much about him. So, what to do if our heart says no but it hasn't been long enough to even ask for his last name?

He's beautiful, that's for sure. I can see myself holding him and staring into his eyes, just because I think it's time I did that. But, there's something I'm not getting. There's something a little off about this. What's missing? I'm not so sure. Do I give in to him, give it some time, and put my heart on the line? Or, do I walk away now, without even a concrete reason other than I'm just not feeling as amazing about this as I ought to? (Is that even a fair enough excuse!?)

Also, what if I'm just scared? I think I'm ready. I think it's finally time to meet someone. But, my heart's just too weak for this. This isn't easy. The chase, the game, the whole process is just so hard. What if all this "missing something" business has nothing to do with him? What if the thing that's missing is my very own bravado? I may have lost it—on Essex Street, in East New York, Brooklyn.

What do I do? I'm not good at dating.

Breakups

That awkward moment when you're over him but you're just not over it.

Pervert

you've caused me

new and happier nightly releases

each time I touch myself,

your face appears

and your head emerges inside my mouth like magic

all over again

I ♥ U, Jonah