King James

How to emotionally detach
like it's a limb that's got gangrene
or a piece of me I can take apart
unscrew the nail
untie the silly string
burn this part of me
how do i rid myself of this crutch that won't even help me walk upright anymore
my stomach hurts
is this love
i drag my feet now
and his holy body is stuck inside my head

Stay

you say to remember you
whenever i listen to 'stay'
it's supposed to make me feel better, i guess
but i don't feel that way

you seem to mock how i feel
i can't get enough of you still
when you whisper:
"i'm here—
all yours"
i know you're really not

you laugh
and you smile
when i tell you
i can't live without you
you cry when i stare at the wall
and disappear
when it's your turn to

'round and around we go
not really sure how to feel about it

Hickey

I wear the mark like a medal
and I feel fine
knowing you chewed and tasted me
with dedicated vigor
like a dog and his bone
or a little girl and her cotton candy
I smile when I see it
I tremble when I touch it
I love it

To Any Man Willing to Try

If you have a gun
you should shoot me
I don't believe in suicide
but murder, I could handle that
and I promise I won't haunt you day and night
when I'm gone
you'll be fine
I'll make sure of it

Raw

It’s not a mistake if it keeps happening

I’m not sure what to call it, though

It’s a weakness

on my part

completely and utterly unstoppable

almost

I think

I don't know

because everything I say isn't so

and I wrestle with these contradictions

No matter how many weapons there are in front of me

I just can’t manage to pick one up

and fight against the big ol’ fat monster

Instead,

I bow down

all cowardly and randy

because it feels much better to give right in to it

The consequences banging right outside my door

I know it all

I know the truth behind just one time

But still—
with the uncooked feelings jumbling inside me

ruining my decision making
I can’t stop myself
when you tell me
"it's OK, because I love you."

Is Your Love Big Enough for What's to Come?

I'm still alive but my blog is dead.  This happens a lot, I know. The gaps between each post has gotten wider and although I always mean to change that, I never get around to writing.  I'm lazy, afraid, and uninspired. But there's good stuff coming.  I can feel it.  So, have faith in me and keep your prayers up.  The candle of inspiration inside me will start burning again.

Now, in the meantime, feel the love and peace that is the musical genius Lianne La Havas. Be moved.