Raw

It’s not a mistake if it keeps happening

I’m not sure what to call it, though

It’s a weakness

on my part

completely and utterly unstoppable

almost

I think

I don't know

because everything I say isn't so

and I wrestle with these contradictions

No matter how many weapons there are in front of me

I just can’t manage to pick one up

and fight against the big ol’ fat monster

Instead,

I bow down

all cowardly and randy

because it feels much better to give right in to it

The consequences banging right outside my door

I know it all

I know the truth behind just one time

But still—
with the uncooked feelings jumbling inside me

ruining my decision making
I can’t stop myself
when you tell me
"it's OK, because I love you."