A few weeks ago, someone called me a freak. I don’t know why but for some strange reason, the word felt like a blow to my face or a knife on my back. I guess the word had more of an impact on me because it came from someone who always seemed nice and relatively peaceful. Or could it be the blow was so strong because I am a freak and just haven’t accepted it? I don’t know for sure but what I do know is this: the word bothered me and I don’t think I deserved it one bit.
I am not the most polite man in the world but I do think I am rather nice. I don’t like insults. I don’t like to hail them at others no matter how outlandish I think someone may be. I do my best to maintain a polite tongue and if I feel the urge to insult someone, I try to back off and zip the lip. I use the power of the written word and write a silly poem about my feelings. I pray, meditate, and reflect. I ask myself, why do I want to insult this person? What about him is bothering me? This leads me to sometimes realize it’s more about me than it is about the person I want to insult.
I learned a long time ago that most insults are sort of a defense mechanism. Those who do the insulting are generally just trying to protect their own feelings. I caught the man in a lie and although it was just a silly lie, I guess he felt embarrassed by it when I pointed it out. He felt the need to defend himself and so he figured insulting me was the best way to do that. Sometimes I think I should have insulted him right back. I should have said something to hurt him too. But I’m mostly proud I didn’t go that route. Instead, I simply told him that it wasn’t OK to call me a freak. I went about it firmly but peacefully. I’m just that kind of guy.
Oxford's definition of the word is below. Would it bother you if someone called you a freak?
- (also freak of nature) a person, animal, or plant with an unusual physical abnormality.
- informal. a person regarded as strange because of their unusual appearance or behavior.
1 comment:
When I was a young man in my late teen's and early twenties, I cared a lot about what people thought of me and would often feel beaten down because of all the names people would call me; gay, loser, queen, faggot, freak, weirdo, etc... It was this time that I met a group of friends who felt the same way. It was through them that I learned to embrace my differences and live freely. Because of them, I was able to come out and live an authentic life. Embrace your difference. Like you said, people call others names because of their own insecurities. I just hope they have friends of their own to help them.
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