Stuck

I’ve got an ex who’s managed to wiggle himself inside so many men
some have been inside him too
every guy I meet knows him
and I always manage to find out later on—
there’s his big fat fucking face
smiley and squint-eyed
on their dashboard, their feed, their followers list
the world’s too small
New York’s really tiny
or he’s just a great big whore
I cringe
I cringe like a melting witch
God damn it, will he fucking disappear already?
Why is he still here,
everywhere?
I believe in signs; I pray to them, in fact
but, I don’t get this one
what’s the meaning behind seeing the wicked man you once loved everywhere you go,
in people you think will set you free, give you peace...
have all the arms in this city hugged him too!?
I can't help but wonder: is it some spirit thing,
some twisted subconscious thing
making me seek the ones he’s already devoured
because I miss him devouring me?
Maybe I’m attracted to them all because I sense him in them too
I mean,
I can still smell him to this day