Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Day seven.

No one is perfect
and it sucks to have a paradox control our love.

“I can’t breathe without you and I can’t breathe with you,”
you said
and I heard you for the first time.

It really is true:
at least I got to experience a beautiful thing.

Like for instance
your tears
that came
that first time
you said “don’t leave me.”
That stuck
ever since.

Everyday
I go back to it.
Sometimes, it makes me smile
-- I was that wanted.
Sometimes, it makes me sad
-- you were that repentant.

I find myself pushing forth,
taking complicated steps,
feeling like I’ve lost a thumb or limb—
you were that necessary.

Anyway,
I’ll wait it out.
See what transpires these next few weeks.
Will I laugh?
No.
Will I eat?
No.
Will I try?
No.
But I’ll wait
though,
a little optimistically,
and hope.

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