I Used to be a Promiscuous Boy

I’ve made a ton of mistakes
some in spite of myself
done things that were beyond me
at the time, right during each mistake, I never gave a lick though

been touched
and filled only because I sought to eliminate the pain inside
been kissed in places meant for special ones
and banged by hyena-driven devils
with simple twisted reasons
all in order to see if I could find myself
I never did
and I felt more lost than ever after each time

I say, it was like raping myself
I did the deed willingly yes
but my soul was never in it
still I ignored it
allowed it to get bruised
and violated
all to try to mend the lonely heart