Lost One

If I asked God to take over,
I wonder if he’d be willing

or would he laugh

and give me the finger.

“Not a chance,” he’d most likely say.

Because I’m so lost
and there is no hope.

Wake Up!

Humble yourself,
you stupid idiot
and don't let him go
Because he’s all the man that you need
He smiles at comics
and rides the subway with his mommy
A tough heart, yes
but he’s real sweet
if you settle in
and rest on his knees
You’ll see.

Rebound

I bet now I’ll taste you for at least six months

like in the morning,

no matter how long I brush my teeth

or when I shower,

even if I decide to eat my soap

with every meal,

like an added spice,
there you'll be

and it’ll take great will

to keep from vomiting

“it’s like I’m making love to you,” you said that night

all enthusiastically

so giddy like a kid

and I closed my eyes really tight to pretend

you were anyone else I’ve ever been with

“Mmmhmm,” I fake-moaned into your brown ear

as I cried

and you didn’t notice

Dirty Thirty

I didn't cry
like I thought I would
and that's all that matters.

Crooked

What’s it say about my ex-boyfriend if he takes his hoes to my favorite restaurant?

What’s it say about me if I hope they all choke on an empanada?

Back to Hell

never let him know
all the things i wish to let go...

like how i hope his heart falls off while he's defecting
or his tears burn his fat brown cheeks as he cries
no, i'll never tell him this is how i feel
because it's wrong
and i'd never wish the devil back to hell
because it's not my job to
and as frustrating as it may seem
as life-threatening almost
to watch him live, and hope, and dream
i know
he'll be taken care of
he'll get everything he gave to me
and all the other desperate lovers
one day

so, no, i don't have to say 
or do a damn thing 
to expedite his demise
i'll just wait,
be still,
and be nice

I Am Yours Forevermore

I loved you years ago
I love you today
I'll love you years from now
Every minute of every day

And every single time you ask me to be yours
even if I'm someone else's and you belong to someone, too
There I'll be
Running right back to you

Shit

How deranged are we
to see
things differently
you,
me—
under the sea...
him,
you—
everything!

Only Fools

I don’t even want him anymore

but it hurts

I pushed him away

little by little

and now that he has finally taken the hint, I have regrets

I shouldn’t’ve told him not to call

anymore

because he stopped

so easily, and without a fight!

And every single time I see him, I hate him for not suffering

He still smiles at all the people who pass by,

still wears those manly fitted clothes and those dancing shoes

prancing and eye-selecting

the future boos,

his life’s no mess

but look at me---

hunched over and salivating...

I stopped wanting him

and for doing the right thing and sending him off,

I’m the one who's suffering

Meanwhile, he’s the reject who’s still shinning

and he doesn’t deserve to!

The maneater with his little dick and beautiful face

picking ugly flowers for the ugly ducklings who flock to him at a moment’s notice

whilst his super boyfriend waits at home for him to finish picking

dedicated to the cheating man because who can break away from such a smile!

Only a fool

like me

My Radio: What I'm Listening To

"Wake up and feel something."

Just a Game - Birdy
Strange Attractor - Animal Kingdom

Fool For You - Cee Lo Green (w/ Melanie Fiona)
I Feel Better - Gotye
Out the Blue - Sub Focus (w/ Alice Gold)

Loving Strangers - Russian Red
The Walk (Explicit) - Mayer Hawthorne (w/ Rizzle Kicks)

Marilyn Monroe - Nicki Minaj
Live Your Life - Yuna
LaserLight - Jessie J (w/ David Guetta)
Better Together - Jack Johnson
Gravity - Sara Bareilles
Blood for Poppies - Garbage
It's Raining - Inara George

Voy - Ednita Nazario
Give Them Jesus - Jaci Velasquez

Sunday Fun Day

It's Sunday, World. Dance and be merry.

The Situation

I'm just a pretty body to you
and you expect me to give in whenever you're free.

"Your ass is king,"
you say.
"But remember my situation.
I want you all for me
but I can't be all for you
because of my girl.
You OK with that?"

"I love you," I whisper inside myself.
"No doubt," I say out loud.

Romans 8:38

I’m not a bible freak but someone special shared this with me and seeing as I really needed to read something like this today, I figured someone out there may need to read this too.

"For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."

God? (Two)

I'm really sick of myself today. I'm dealing with so much guilt and anger, I don't even recognize myself anymore. Normally, I'd pray this all away. I'd look up to the skies and ask God to forgive me...to recognize or remember that I am not at all the man I seem to be. I can't do that today, though. I haven't been able to do that for a while now. I can't even imagine asking Him to forgive me, especially since I've asked Him so many times already and yet, I still fall down the same ol' rabbit hole. Who am I to think it's all right to fall and expect He'll care for the wounds every single time? Who am I to think He'll be right there after all the times I've promised? Does He know I couldn't help it each time and still can't to this day? I am a pathetic failure in His eyes, I'm sure. If I were Him, I wouldn't give myself a second look.

They say to run to God whenever life is good and even when it's bad. He'll welcome a sinner and a saint just the same. I want to run to Him, but I don't even dare. Is it the devil lying his way into my head, telling me that God's not there? Or am I definitely on the right track here and God doesn't love me anymore?

Wishful Thinking

i want to slow dance with a really hot guy
and even if he doesn't like me
i hope he pretends

i want him to hold me tight,
kiss me on the neck,
and tell me i'm the prettiest boy in the world