Word Warp, III.

sleepless. where's jesus? i think i'm alone now. the bed is small. the sheets make me hot. but i shiver without them. there's no peace in between. god damn it! cravings. no food. poor. where's the money? i can't see. it's only day three! fucking week. the winds are heavy. carry me!

a Ha!

Oscar.

This is going to be the Oscar show to watch. Aside from Supporting Actor, there isn't a single category with a sure enough winner. It's anyone's guess, really. And I love that!

As is the case every year, I've read an assortment of articles predicting the results. Some awards guru's are relying on so-called scientific evidence, many are focusing in on patterns from seasons passed, but most are simply running with gut instinct. Who's it gonna be? Here are my choices.

Best Picture: Slumdog Millionaire.
It took a second viewing of the film to get my vote. It's got all the elements of a good film. Namely: suspense, drama, awe inspiring direction, great acting, and, of course, love. I had originally considered The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. In its scope, it is quite epic. It is a visual treat. But that's it, really. It tends to drag a little and it never resonated with me. I wasn't inspired. I didn't leave the theatre feeling hopeful. It's beautiful but it's missing that magic touch. Slumdog Millionaire has it all.

Best Actor: Sean Penn
Frankly, Sean Penn and Mickey Rourke both deserve it. If I had to pick just one though, I'd pick Sean Penn.

Best Actress: Meryl Streep.
Everyone is saying this is Kate Winslet's year. But, am I the only one who feels The Reader is complete trash? It is the most dizzying and frustrating film I've seen in a long time. It's a story that'll leave you feeling unfulfilled and angry. Of course, Kate Winslet should not be blamed for that. That isn't the reason why I think she shouldn't win. She's an amazing actress whose turn as a German Nazi prison guard was played with such restrained intensity. It was all in her face, her voice, and her eyes. She rocked it but she shouldn't win. Had she been nominated for Revolutionary Road instead, I'd be writing a whole different piece here. If she wins, it'll be a career achievement award to be honest. Voters will have picked her becasue she should have gotten one ages ago. Meryl Streep is fierce in Doubt. She is the Best Actress of '08. Hands downs. You can't help but feel goosebumps as she firmly declares, "I will step outside the church if that's what needs to be done, till the door should shut behind me! I will do what needs to be done, though I'm damned to Hell! You should understand that, or you will mistake me."

Best Supporting Actor:
No comment.

Best Supporting Actress: Penelope Cruz.
My sweet, dear Penelope. If she loses, I am done with art. Her only true competitor is Viola Davis. However, Viola's part in Doubt is just way too small to merit the award. Her twelve-minute presence was poignant and impressive but it wasn't the best. Penelope's role was a lot heavier.

If you live under a rock, here is a full list of the nominees.

How to Win an Oscar

For an actor to win an Oscar, should it matter how long they're in a movie? Or, is it simply the impact an actor makes in a film that truly counts -- no matter the length of time they're in it?

Consider this...

The late Beatrice Straight won an Oscar for Best Supporting Actress playing a woman scorned in the movie Network, a role with a mere 5 minutes and 40 seconds of screen time in total.

Did she deserve it?

Check out this clip below.

Doubt

It's been said that it takes a village to raise a child but, I wonder, what does it take to raise an adult?

Because 'til this day, I still question. I still need help. This is one ferociously winding road and guidance is always required -- isn't it? Or am I the only one?

I cannot stand alone.

But, it seems, I'm supposed to.

How?

Oh, I have doubts.

Movie List '08

In honor of this weekends Oscar ceremony, here is a list of my favorite movies of 2008.

1. Slumdog Millionaire
2. Sex and the City: The Movie
3. The Secret Life of Bees
4. Milk
5. Gran Torino
6. Doubt
7. Marley and Me
8. Revolutionary Road
9. Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist
10. WALL-E

love.

"Fidelity": Don't Divorce... from Courage Campaign on Vimeo.

demon writer of schenck street

I'm gonna
collect 'em
at the park--
the ones on benches
in each others arms

I'm gonna
gather a
bunch
at the movies--
the ones secretly kissing
in front of sexy scenes

I'm gonna
go to weddings
and parties
where they come together
to celebrate

get 'em
kill 'em
shred them whole
mix
and drink up

all
so I
can maybe feel it too...

the lovers and
their happy love.

*disclaimer: This is art. Nothing more. I would never do this because I try not to eat too much meat.

Auto/Abuse

It isn’t good
to wish
for a car to blast itself
against my thigh
as I walk
the streets alone

But I can’t help it
I get cravings.

Word Warp, II.

senses working overtime. i smell popcorn. YOU! sigh. sigh. sigh. i sigh a lot these days. one. two. three. i click my heels. you're not here still. fucking judy! red shoes. red shoes. red shoes. ah, I need shoes for the party. how will i dance when you were supposed to come? i'll drink like a thirsty mule. poison myself. oh. to go like that! forgive me if i end up calling...barely coherent. words. are. hard. to. release. when. you're. missing. and. drunk. be ready.

The Killers

It isn’t you that I can’t live without
It’s this feeling that I can’t live with
And if I go
From a self-inflicted wound
Don’t blame yourself
It was me.

My Radio: What I'm Listening To

"Currently on an endless loop."

It's All Over - The Broken Family Band
Hey Stephen - Taylor Swift
Se Te Olvido - Kalimba
Teardrop - Massive Attack
Make You Feel My Love - Adele
Be OK - Ingrid Michaelson
Fljotavik - Sigur Rós
Big Easy - Raphael Saadiq
My Life Would Suck Without You - Kelly Clarkson
Chocolate High - India.Arie
Lucky - Jason Mraz (w/ Colbie Caillat)
Remember - Robyn
Help Yourself - Amy Winehouse
No Matter What - Sonya Kitchell
You Got the Silver - Susan Tedeschi

Word Warp, I.

listening to amy. realize for the first time ever why people do what they do for the sake of love. hair's a mess. i need a haircut. cat's meowing. no food? no. i think she's set. what do you want!? i just screamed. sorry kitty but i can't take it. why is it so hot!? oh. window's shut. wow. look at that snow fall. i should go out and play. ha! imagine. i'm no kid anymore. i wish. if only. this adult shit is tough. i just want to see him smile again. one more time. am i addicted? amy amy amy.

Music List '08

In honor of the Grammy awards this weekend, here are my favorite albums of 2008.

1. As I Am - Alicia Keys
2. The Way I See It - Raphael Saadiq
3. Robyn - Robyn
4. 19 - Adele
5. Rockferry - Duffy
6. Sol-Angel and the Hadley St. Dreams - Solange
7. Youth Novels - Lykke Li

I do not recommend...

Love is tough. Hearts are broken everyday. Here's a short list of things to take note if you're weak when it comes to handling the pain. You may not agree with me. I don't care. This is what works for me. These are the mistakes I've made and have learned from. Before each sentence, say out loud: "I do not recommend..." If you have something to add, leave a comment!

listening to sade after a breakup.

memorizing a boys number -- because when it's no longer relevant, the number will echo endlessly inside your head -- even when you aren't purposely reciting it.

sharing rituals or habits, like watching a t.v. show together or making sure you've got biscuits and ginger ale in the fridge to share while a movie plays -- because when you see the show and he isn't around, or when you see said items at the supermarket, your eyes will involuntarily water. to stop it, you'll have to hate the things you once shared. that's not good because you'll end up missing out on good shows and good food.

fighting for a hug. if he no longer wants to give you one, let him be.

meaningless sex to fill the void. the only hole that will be filled this way will cause you more pain than you started out with. think about it.

saying his name.

looking at old photos or emails.

blaming yourself.

replaying scenes to see if there was something else you could have done. you did what you did because that's all you knew. you live, you learn, you grow.

memorizing those times he'd laugh hysterically.

begging for forgiveness. if you have to ask for it more than once, then you aren't enough.

staring into space.

wondering if he wants you back. if he isn't calling, he doesn't want you back.

staying home from work and lying in bed the whole day. your mind will repeat itself and you'll go nuts for sure. take a day to recuperate if need be. do not take three.

waiting at his train station to see if by chance you'll catch him.

regretting.

closing the door completely.