Mr. Know It All

it's always upsetting when someone claims
they know everything about you, and then some

if you're of age, you know this--
you know someone who thinks they know exactly how you feel
and what's best for you
but they don't know anything.

listen to this
i dedicate it to all the stupid boys who have tried to get me

My Radio: What I'm Listening To

"If I rock out, I ain't lying."

In Sleep - Lissie

Who You Are - Jessie J

Dress and Tie - Charlene Kaye (w/ Darren Criss)

The Book of Morris Johnson - Zee Avi

Maps - Yeah Yeah Yeahs

Head First - Nikka Costa

Cupid - Amy Winehouse

Titanium - David Guetta (w/ Sia)

Asthma Attack - CocknBullKid

My Body - Young the Giant

Skinny Love - Bon Iver

Wepa - Gloria Estefan

Schoolin' Life - Beyoncé

Settle Down - Kimbra

Bright Lights Bigger City - Cee Lo Green

Buen Soldado - Francisca Valenzuela

Without You - David Guetta (w/ Usher)

Today is Your Day - Shania Twain

Conflicts II

I can spend a year away,
no contact with you whatever
no thoughts
no feelings
no mention
but then I see you
and I melt
and I ask god: why,
if i can have this much hate for a man, do I love him so?

Allyism

"I don't want what I want and I want what I don't want. And to complicate it even more right now, I don't know what I want or what I don't want."

Ally McBeal

It's Pia, Y'all!

I don’t like her name (I can’t imagine saying: oh my god, have you heard the new Pia Toscano CD!?) but I guess I’ll have to get used to it because if this song is any indication, the girl is definitely good. This is probably the best debut single by an Idol alum since Carrie Underwood’s “Jesus Take the Wheel.”

Released July 12, check out "This Time." Get it on iTunes for $.69 or download the video for free.

Asshole

it's been a long time since i've met someone who is a complete and total asshole

you fit the bill

tenfold

and,
although i never actually expected much from you,

i definitely didn't expect this much

The Saddest Thing You'll See Today

We need to bring our troops back home, alive and soon.

Never Let Me Go

He says: "you're so comfortable,"
as he yawns and hugs me
like a little boy would his stuffed animal before falling asleep after a very long day
"you're cute," I say
and he laughs.
"I don't ever want to let you go,"
he whispers, his arms around me tightening.
I watch him sleep and ponder that-
The thought is sweet, I know
But, he'll have to let me go eventually though

My Two Cents

Children suffer even MORE when parents who don't love or respect each other stay together "for the children." It is possible to grow up a child of divorce and become a very respectful, successful, and happy human being.

Shut Up

Sometimes I think you're it
but then you speak
and that thought quickly dies

And even if I try
so hard to picture the two of us hand in hand
I can't stand
you.

Runaway Boyfriend

Have you ever dodged a bullet,
ducked right on time,
and let go
before it was too late?

It feels good when you realize
you were smart not to go on
and you stopped right when you were supposed to

Because,
when you listen to reason and
hold on to that conscience inside yelling at you to wake up,
you flourish
and grow
and find something a whole lot better

It's true and
even if it hurts at first, there's a cooling sensation that comes to ease the pain
it's from God
and it really saves

My Radio: What I'm Listening To

"I can move to a lot of things now."

Money Grabber - Fitz and the Tantrums
Lullaby - Sia
Skinny Love - Birdy
Take Over Control - Afrojack (w/ Eva Simons)
Sleep the Clock Around - Belle and Sebastian
The Cure & the Cause - Fish Go Deep (w/ Tracey K.)
Hello - Martin Solveig (w/ Dragonette)
Move Your Feet - Junior Senior
On a Mission - Gabriella Cilmi
When I'm Alone - Lissie

Poem to a Horse

You run faster than anyone I know
even if I tried, I wouldn’t be able to catch you

You’re polite and there’s enough magic in you to charm a pack of wolves, or men
same thing

I told you before, you remind me of Jesus
but, I’ll say it again because I don’t think you get it

I know you're noble
somewhere
you go on
and on and on
playing and dancing
racing and prancing
striving for freedom but I know you don’t really want it

I bet you’ve wondered if anyone’s ever written a poem about you
well, now you know.

Goodbye, World

Tonight I want to kill myself. I don’t know how I should do it but I know I want to do it. I keep thinking I should use a gun. I want to use something strong enough to work the first time I try. I want to use something that’ll do the most damage. I don’t want this heart. I don’t want this head. So, I want to try and shoot them both. Fuck, I don’t even think that’s possible - unless I get someone to do it for me. But, Dr. Kevorkian is dead. I want to stop loving profusely and I want to stop feeling sorry for myself. Why don’t I have an off switch to turn away these crazy thoughts? I don’t know. Dear God, I think you’re cruel. You truly are an innocent - the naïve creator. Didn’t you stop to wonder about the struggles I’d have to face alone, loveless, ugly, and rotten inside? A motherless, punished child! You were drunk. And it was too late to stop, right? Too giddy, Mr. Perfect, and not an evil thought or ounce of negativity to alter your courage as you molded and pressed and designed and created this…this person that I am. Me. Still empty inside in spite of the miles of veins and skin and thighs.

Disclaimer: Don't worry, readers—I am not going to kill myself.

Dear Friend

Today, I stop
no more terms of endearments
or flirtatious nothings
because, what’s the point
and who are you
to look down on me
when I’ve never been anything but supportive
and encouraging
I know you want more
but I can’t give you what I don’t have
and that’s this heart
because, it’s not really mine anyway
so be mad and stay that way
I’m not sorry I love someone else and not you