For Hope

It's been a dismal August in New York City for those of us who love lots of sunlight.  We've had too many days of rain and gray skies keeping us from hitting the beaches and pools.  Summer is almost gone and we haven't felt much of it this month.  It's expected to reach near 90° weather this week though so there's hope still.  July was so very hot and excellent. I'm praying the last couple weeks of August are somewhat similar.

As I type this in bed near the window, I see that there's sunlight creeping through.  I'm blasting "Wings" by Birdy in dedication. Dear Sun—don't be shy today and I won't be either.

Let's dance.

Vacation, All I Ever Wanted

I can't believe the time is finally here. I purchased my ticket to Puerto Rico in February and it's already June. In a couple hours I'll be set to embark on yet another trip to my homeland―that hot and sunny island that gets me emotional and makes me feel super peaceful inside because it's the only place where I'm ever really free on the inside and out.

Below is a piece I (sort of) wrote (with the help of a very well known lyricist, of course) a couple years ago and I think it's not a bad idea to re-post it.  Enjoy.

"Puerto Rico. My heart's devotion. [Don't] let it sink back in the ocean. [So what if] the hurricanes [are sometimes] blowing, [and] the population [is] growing, and the money owing, and the sunlight streaming, and the natives steaming. I [don't] like the island Manhattan! Smoke on your pipe and put that in!" 

My version of the classic song "America" from the musical West Side Story.

I Found You

It is a great pity I do not have a singing voice.  Although, it is probably for the best since I would most likely spend half of my day belting almost every line that came out of my mouth.  I would be annoying. God knows what He is doing.  He chooses His singers wisely, I suppose.

Some songs are strong enough to make you wish you were the one singing it.  Some songs tackle the heart and head and if you close your eyes while listening, you imagine yourself on stage showing the world this is how you feel. The songs that do that never get old and tired. 

I have spent a lot of time listening to this track here. I love it so much I wish I could sing it to you all. It is not new but I feel something brand new inside me every time I play it.  The song shakes me, which is a fitting feeling considering the name of the band is Alabama Shakes.  

If you happen to be reading this, and you have never heard this brilliant song, you are a lucky human today.  I would like you to take the time now to relax, sit for a bit, raise your computer volume up a tad, and take this song in.  It will make you want love if you do not have it and it will make you feel grateful for it if you already do. You will see. 

Bright Light

"If I cry one tear...I stole it off a crocodile."

Today,
I'm going to be all kinds of optimistic
and giddy,
even if i have to lie about it...
see if things turn out differently.

Is This the End?

I don’t have the desire to keep this going

I think, perhaps, I ought to get rid of this

Delete everything

Who cares about this shit anyway?

I don't.

But I won’t

In case I ever do again, you know?

I’m not inspired about anything anymore

I’m too old for love, too

That’s typically the most inspirational subject of my life

But there are cobwebs between the thighs

And my fingers aren’t strong enough to carry a pencil

I can't write

if there's no love

So,
fuck this.

Alexander

I crave you every single day

but it’s a wonder why

since I can’t even put up with you

and you can’t handle me either

we fight

but you hold me tight

you laugh at me

and I disappear a couple days after

still, you linger in my head

I go back to you

and we do the dance again

I know:

It could all be so much simpler if I would
shut up and surrender

but I can't

because I'm not that kind of man
and I'm just so scared of you

King James

How to emotionally detach
like it's a limb that's got gangrene
or a piece of me I can take apart
unscrew the nail
untie the silly string
burn this part of me
how do i rid myself of this crutch that won't even help me walk upright anymore
my stomach hurts
is this love
i drag my feet now
and his holy body is stuck inside my head

Stay

you say to remember you
whenever i listen to 'stay'
it's supposed to make me feel better, i guess
but i don't feel that way

you seem to mock how i feel
i can't get enough of you still
when you whisper:
"i'm here—
all yours"
i know you're really not

you laugh
and you smile
when i tell you
i can't live without you
you cry when i stare at the wall
and disappear
when it's your turn to

'round and around we go
not really sure how to feel about it

Hickey

I wear the mark like a medal
and I feel fine
knowing you chewed and tasted me
with dedicated vigor
like a dog and his bone
or a little girl and her cotton candy
I smile when I see it
I tremble when I touch it
I love it

To Any Man Willing to Try

If you have a gun
you should shoot me
I don't believe in suicide
but murder, I could handle that
and I promise I won't haunt you day and night
when I'm gone
you'll be fine
I'll make sure of it

Raw

It’s not a mistake if it keeps happening

I’m not sure what to call it, though

It’s a weakness

on my part

completely and utterly unstoppable

almost

I think

I don't know

because everything I say isn't so

and I wrestle with these contradictions

No matter how many weapons there are in front of me

I just can’t manage to pick one up

and fight against the big ol’ fat monster

Instead,

I bow down

all cowardly and randy

because it feels much better to give right in to it

The consequences banging right outside my door

I know it all

I know the truth behind just one time

But still—
with the uncooked feelings jumbling inside me

ruining my decision making
I can’t stop myself
when you tell me
"it's OK, because I love you."

Is Your Love Big Enough for What's to Come?

I'm still alive but my blog is dead.  This happens a lot, I know. The gaps between each post has gotten wider and although I always mean to change that, I never get around to writing.  I'm lazy, afraid, and uninspired. But there's good stuff coming.  I can feel it.  So, have faith in me and keep your prayers up.  The candle of inspiration inside me will start burning again.

Now, in the meantime, feel the love and peace that is the musical genius Lianne La Havas. Be moved.

Valiantman

Last night I dreamt you were a superhero—
saving lives while forgetting your own,
stomping on all the tiny monsters out there,
breaking apart
all the schemes
to ruin the big world...
a day in the life of a valiant man,
fighting injustice and taking a stand

But then
in the end
when you were done for the day
you came home
all alone
without a single man to call your own
and I was somewhere out there dancing
with a mask, too
but no powers

You picked up your cell phone
and sent me a text
"I'm so mad at you for doing this to me," you wrote
and as Ke$ha's "C'mon" played
I cried
Because I missed you more than I could have ever imagined.

My Music Awards V

It seems like only yesterday we were giving away a handful of Grammys to the one and only Adele.  Music's biggest night is just around the corner and in honor of tomorrow's nominations announcement, here are some of my picks for this year's best.  Let's see if any of these will be Grammy nominated.

Record of the Year:

"Titanium" - David Guetta featuring Sia.

I don't know if David Guetta or his record company submitted this song for contention in this category but here's hoping someone did.  There wasn't a more universal or groundbreaking song out there this year.  It would be a great toast to the EDM community if David were nominated here and, thanks to Sia's impeccable and haunting vocals, I really think it would have a great shot at winning.  Aside from that, Fun. ("We Are Young" w/ Janelle Monáe) and Gotye (Somebody That I Used to Know w/ Kimbra) had tremendous success with their hit songs, too.  So, if they get nominated for Record of the Year, I won't be mad. Of course, there's a ton of speculation regarding Carly Rae Epson's "Call Me Maybe" being nominated. While the song is fun and fantastic, I think that chick ought to thank her lucky stars awards pundits even know her name. Yes, the song is arguably 2012's biggest hit. But, it doesn't merit a Record of the Year nomination.  Keep in mind, this is a category big commercial hits have often been snubbed.  If Britney Spears, LMFAO, and Ke$ha--to name a few--have been overlooked here for their much bigger hits, Carly better not expect a shout out.  If there has to be one pop-princess-type nominated in this category this year, then I think Demi Lavato's "Skyscraper" or Katy Perry's "Part of Me" is it. 

Honorable Mention: "Set Fire to the Rain" by Adele.

Song of the Year:

"Thinkin Bout You" - Christopher Breaux & Shea Taylor.

The words slay.  If your heart doesn't skip a beat, read the lyrics slowly.  Check your pulse.  Drink some water.  Have an orange.  Chrisopher Breaux (AKA Frank Ocean) released one of the heaviest songs to shock the R&B airwaves in a very long time. The song is beautiful and although he hasn't had as much commercial success as those who hardly deserve an ounce of the love that they do get--Justin Bieber--I'm so happy that he's gotten any attention at all. It says a lot about the state of America today.  Frank would not have been respected years ago.  This song is a gem and I'm sure this will be nominated for Record of the Year, too.  But, for me, it's 2012's song of the year.

Best New Artist:

Frank Ocean.

We'll see a country act nominated.  There will be a rock group and perhaps even a boy band, too.  But in the end, the best new artist will be Frank Ocean.  He certainly is my new favorite.

Honorable Mention: The Lumineers

Album of the Year:

"Channel ORANGE" - Frank Ocean.

So, I'm kind of anticipating a Frank Ocean Grammy sweep if you haven't noticed. I was moved, I cried, I was inspired, and I slow danced in my bedroom all by myself without a care or worry in the world that first time I listened to Channel ORANGE.  It's that rare classic R&B album that seems to come around every few years, à la The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill, Back to Black, and Come Away with Me, to name a few.  It's my favorite album of the year and I hope it's every Grammy voter's favorite also.

Best Female Pop Vocal Performance:

"Rumor Has It" - Adele.

Sing it, girl.  
Honorable Mention:  "Part of Me" - Katy Perry.

Best R&B Album:

"Channel ORANGE" - Frank Ocean.

Best Urban Contemporary Album:

"Talk That Talk" - Rihanna.

Rihanna's last three albums have been full-on knockouts.  She's a rockstar.   This album is epic.

Best Dance Recording:

"Titanium" - David Guetta featuring Sia.

Honorable Mentions: "We Found Love" - Rihanna featuring Calvin Harris and "Timebomb" - Kylie Minogue.

Best Rock Performance by a Duo or Group with Vocal:
"Somebody That I Used to Know" - Gotye featuring Kimbra.

Best Female Country Vocal Performance:
"Over You" - Miranda Lambert

Writer's Block

I've lost my hope...
my talent...
my faith...
and my desire—
but if any of you happen to have any of these to spare, I'd like to buy them.