Monday, September 8, 2008

The God Blog

I can't help but wonder why He is so unfair
if He is real, why must we fight with all our might to find our happiness
if He does indeed exist, why are some better looking than others
and why are some more powerful than most?
He does not love us equally.
There's just so much proof to that.
We can cry our eyes out
shout out loud
pull every hair and study the Word for hours on end
but still, the path to happiness never shortens

I am upset with God
lately, I haven't been able to pray
I've got this tremendous grudge against Him
there's this intense anger
and sorrow
that won't go away
I feel neglected
I feel like He's not on my side
I don't see why I should submit to Him when there's so much pain inside me that He won't fix
I can consume myself in rituals
Join some group of enthused Jesus lovers
Sing a hymn
and praise His name
but in the end, I know this much is true:
the struggles will still exist
my face won't change
I'll speak the same
and my heart will still ache

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